Thursday, February 02, 2006

an evening in my friends "ABHI"'s life ... though bizarre.. who said empty mind is a DEVIL's workshop

Soliloquy....was it?
It was another day in the office and I came back a bit earlier than usual. It was 7.30 in the evening and I had nothing much to do.I took my bike and went to the near by railway over bridge. That is what I mostly do when I have time to kill and get the frustration out of my system. Why am I frustrated, you will soon find out. Read along.Standing on the railway over bridge, with my bike’s key in one hand and a cigarette in the other, I looked down on the slums below. I took a deep breath and smiled, gees, I am a capitalist.And I looked down (literally!) a drunken guy being chased by dogs and I couldn’t suppress a smirk. I puffed up my chest and thought, glad I am so much better off!And I heard someone laughing. The kind of hysterical laughter that make you cringe. I must admit I had goose bumps then!So you really think you are better off, it said.I said yes.What makes you think that?I have a job, my own bike, money in my wallet and food in my stomach. I don’t have to be chased by a pack of stray dogs!That is all you need to be better off!What else do you want? I said.You know the answer; just dare to ask the question.I am not getting you, I said getting a bit irritated. The kind of setting this conversation had reminds me of the epic “DEEWAR”, and its famous “Mere pass maa hai” dialogue. Lots of melodrama and I hate that.Ok, tell me, why does a 22 year old having a bike , money in his wallet and food in his stomach needs to come to look at the slums to feel happy?I don’t know, it just gives me kicks.Sadist, hmm.May be. I wanted this to end soon, I was feeling uneasy.Will you trade off your today for exactly a year back, when you were in college and no job and no bike?I kept quiet.Hello?Why Do I have to answer you?And the laughter again!22 year old or a ten year kid, throwing his tantrums. You will answer it because you want to.Yes I said. The answer is yes, is that what you want to hear. I shouted at the top of my voice.Forget about what I want, know what you want.This is not getting anywhere.Yes it is, that’s the whole problem. You are so self occupied that the entire priority thing goes for a toss. You come here to satiate your ego, you loner!I am happy!Yeah right, you are. Puffing up your chest when you see struggle, for things have come easy for you. Filling up your lungs with smoke coz you think you have the luxury to do so, coz you have money.It is my life.Then why you want to go a year back? Coz you need friends, to listen and to share. You need warmth, you need shoulders to put your head on, and you need the silence, when you can go from one nonsense to another, you might not admit it, but you need love.What the f***?Not all that you need, can be bought, and acceptance is not defeat.I can still work that out, and I have the choice. That gives me the power. I was not going to throw down the gauntlet.This is what you choose, my sadist capitalist?The train was approaching, fast and blowing the siren. I could feel the impact inside my head.Who are you to tell me what to do and what to choose? God almighty?The train was approaching close and it was difficult to hear.That laughter again. The sound was too much to bear. I felt that my head will explode!I am you.And then there was lull.The storm had passed.

----------- more like it @ www. pairahan.blogspot.com ....... prepare to get assaulted !!!

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