why does this happen ??

i was getting restless today sitting in dis lovely chair of mine before the familiar green blue screens of Mainframes. sad tht i cant do nythng abt it !!

its been a while since i heard her voice.(which i used to hear day-in and day-out til a year back!)
i thought long and hard n realised tht SHE had nothin to do wid me in her life nymore! i hated the fact from the bottom of my heart, sad i cant do ny thng abt it !! may b ... may b i thought things wud b different .. different in the sense tht atleast she wud not cut-me-out of her life as she did;

may b i thought i was expecting too much from her and decided to call her up (it was 2 in da noon). i smiled to myself ki ... its u who's missing her terribly; she's happy wid the way her life's going, she doesnt need u nymore .

my fingers moved rapidly over the phone n in next 5 sec her fone was ringing !! i cud see her infront of me den! she lifted up the fone...
i said "hey hi bebo ... !";
wat followed stunned me. (its been happenin time and again i thought) ..... moments of silence followed n she said "hi.. bippi". i cud seriously feel the indifference in her voice.

i gathered myself in a moment n said "watz up?" .. she replied "hmm i'm havin my lunch!"

i replied by saying - "shud i call u back!" ..instantly she said "yes" ....

i said "bye" n put down the receiver!

the happiness wid wich she used to lift my call, the way she used to say "Bipppiiiiii !" .... gosh .... i miss her terribly.

i lean back upon my chair n look thru the dumb machine infront of me. i donno waht i was looking thru n wat i was seeing(ppl around me supposedly think i've some logic 4 a code) ... suddenly i hear the voice of my PM - "phani..... chalo u need to take a session on Dialer! u also need to attend a meeting !!" .... i rise saying "FUCK U " i remember wat i intend to do !!
but the thoughts abt my bebo will never slip out of my mind even 4 a second !!