Friday, March 31, 2006

its a kinda feeling which remains with you 4 long !!!!!

its got be this way -- Everyone remembers their first. It is one of those things in life that remain with you, no matter what else the years ahead bring to you. And yes, you will have more, in most cases, many more, of much better quality, and ones that will last much longer. There will be of course the ones that were mistakes, (and be honest here, we all make them, only, admission is sometimes hard to handle) but even the ones that were mistakes, will remain tucked deep away in the recesses of your mind, to be over shadowed by, the first.

It is sweet, and special, it filled you with a warmth and a pride that you had never felt before and had only had visions of, (or for most of us, read about in books or dime store magazines), that probably makes most other things pale in comparison. You walk around for days after (sometimes weeks if you are the vain, bragging type) and you seem to have this, glow, this special aura about you, where you don't even have to say a word, people just seem to know. You feel like everyone is talking about you, and sense that they are actually whispering about you behind your back, and of course this causes the ego level to rise even higher. You seem to have a new strut, a certain, a lilt, that you never noticed before but now have become part of this new and better person that, after only one day you have become.

After having dreamed of this special moment for so long laying in bed on those cold lonely nights, staring at the ceiling, and seeing it happen in your mind. They know, you are not sure how, but they know, you constantly are checking to see if by chance there is any tell tale evidence, but, nothing you can see, seems to give it away. You justify in your mind that having waited so long, and suffering through the frustration of being so close so many times, that you deserve, this newfound peer admiration, and you bask in it, revel in the new you that it has created.

I know I will always remember my first, it holds a special deep-rooted, hidden spot in my heart, and I hope it always will. Ahh yes the first, she was, precious, a deadly combination of good looks, sex appeal and just the right amount of shine to catch the eye of any other poor observer that had not had the fortune of finding out this great life treasure that you had. It is the ritual passing into manhood, no longer were you a kid, now you were a man, and everyone knew it.
Now I must tell you, that my first was in 2003, and as I was born in 1983, this may seem to most of you along time to wait for the first. (And trust me, it is a lot longer when you are the one waiting) But she was certainly worth the wait I must tell you. Looking back over the years at the cost of the first, (not in dollars, but the mental and physical strain attached for those few simple moments of pleasure, that unknowing to you would last a lifetime and makes the cost seem miniscule in reality) it is very easy now to justify that cost. However at the time it seems to be extreme.

There are few things in life that come close to offering the same pleasure to the average male, and certainly, nothing that can equal the pride and bragging rights attached to it. For those last years, every time a new unsuspecting prospect walks in the door, or when the beer starts to flow freely on a Friday night when the guys get together, the subject will certainly come up, and that old feeling of pride returns, (if even for a few minutes) and that old feeling of pride and that certain glow, returns to you again and the world feels so much warmer.

You brag about her, extol her virtues, profess time after time your undying devotion to her, promise to never forget her and the pleasure she gives to you, and unlike other people she has been with, you promise not to abandon her and leave her alone, to wait for the next male to walk by and take a shine to her.

As day after day passes and your attachment grows stronger your dependence on her becomes a power that you never knew existed, she take over your thoughts. Your mind during the day tends to drift to thoughts of her, the way she feels, better still the way she makes you feel, drift in and out of your mind and the daily seemingly mundane chores are only a necessity to go through so you can be with her when you are done. You rush out at the end of your day, knowing she is waiting for you for your touch that will let her know you are there for her.
Now, is there a guy out there that can tell me these feelings are not ones that you have or have had before? And if you look deep inside they are still hidden there, hidden perhaps, but there nonetheless. And on those quiet nights when it is cold outside, and you are sitting listening to your favorite music on the stereo, a glass of good wine in your hands, lights turned down low, tell me your thoughts don't from time to time drift back to that magic moment, and relive that time your mind, and a small imperceptible smile comes to your face, and that once thought to be forgotten glow returns.

You remember how warm and graceful she was, how she had a way of transferring that warmth to you every time you touched her. You remember, no matter how bad your day was, and you walked out and she was there waiting for you how all of the troubles seemed to fade away and all you wanted to do was be with her in the safety of her embrace.

Of course anyone can tell, I was referring to that age-old passage into manhood,


wellllllll all the dudes n dudettes who read this blog hope this applies to u all as well ...... !!!


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